Tuesday, April 12, 2016

The Big House Plan for Senior Citizens

The great and glorious Phil Hendrie in his prime.


Anonymous said...

Love it! A lot of people don't care too much about their parents in old age, because the parents didn't care too much for their children growing up. My mom was married and divorced three times, by the time I was 16, my dad is currently on his 7th wife!!! My dad didn't do squat to help out when I was growing up, little if any child support. I know many people whose parents were abusive in one way or another, and pretty much treated the children like they were a burden. This is in stark contrast to the way a lot of European people raise their children. The boomer generation can suck eggs for all I care.

John Smith said...

HJ sez: "because the parents didn't care too much for their children growing up"

That's because children are the unwanted product of pleasurable sexual activity and only get in the way afterwards - women have an inborn genetic predisposition to want to get pregnant and have children, and men to engage in reproductive activities - once the product comes out of the womb - well, it just gets in the way of having more fun - plus children are time consuming and cost a lot of money when cared for properly.

That said - great comedy - but a lot of truth within - Vigilante Senior Citizens would eliminate those with anti-social genes while helping themselves to life on EZ Street - 3 hots (depending on circumstances) and a cot. I recommend that Seniors so inclined commit Federal Offenses - as I hear Club Fed is much nicer than State Prisons.

Having spent time in Racine and Kenosha (WI) jails - Racine sucks and they feed you lots of spongy white bread with a slathering of yellow stuff and one piece of stinky bologna - plus you can't go outside to exercise. In addition - there is ONLY one TV and if you're white - your'e in the minority. A great place to lose weight in you're obese - because the food is truly awful - you can exercise by walking in circles. Bathrooms are wide open - so you will either learn to not be shy or wake up in the middle of the night when some semblance of privacy may be achieved. Do NOT be surprised to find young Black males masturbating. PRO-TIP: Save the end of your toothpaste tube and place it over the showerhead for a warmer feeling shower. Also, while considered contraband which will be confiscated during the next shakedown, a FAUX PILLOW may be made by collecting plastic sammich bags and stuffing one with the others. On Sundays - fights are frequent when Mexican Gangbangers battle White Trash in a contest to control the TV - it's either soccer or NASCAR - stay away to avoid solitary. GOAL! GOAL! GOAL!

Downtown Kenosha jail is only moderately better - overcrowded, you may wind up sleeping on the floor on a plastic "boat". Lots of Black Gangster Disciples and Brown & White Satan's Disciples - RESPECT the lines drawn on the floor - and the NE corner is for GD's ONLY. Unlike Racine, there are actually two doors to the bathroom - if you feel the need for privacy - hang a piece of toilet paper outside the door - inmates are expected to respect this little luxury. Exercise can be performed between cots and with assistance of other inmates, but it is frowned upon by Staff. Of note is Kenosha County Sheriffs Dept Jailer Rhonda - and when she enters the pod for inspection expect a chorus to break out with inmates singing the Beach Boy Classic- Help me Rhonda! Even the Warden busts a smile. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Te_lCF69Aw

If you're generally white, and a low risk inmate you'll eventually be moved to KCDC - Kenosha County Detention Center - and you've hit the jack-pot of SE Wisconsin jails. Featuring a fully equipped kitchen with a bakery - inmates are taught cooking skills and the food is great! Pastries and deserts with every meal. You WILL gain weight - but trading food is STRICTLY forbidden and you will land in solitary if caught. Two large screen TV's with theater seating at each end of the pod, they also have checkers/chess and boardgames. The Showers are WARM and offer some privacy! You are issued a sweatshirt (for cold weather) and have 3 opportunities a day to exercise in the enclosed concrete courtyard! The young guys get creative and make a "football" with their shirts and play - until a Jailer comes and ruins the fun. Winding up in solitary is possible. Other join the regulars in group exercises - walking/pushups/situps.

Choose your crimes carefully -

John Smith said...

The Japanese have taken the advice to heart:

For many, it’s a viable alternative to a retirement home.

What if you could get free food, free shelter, and unlimited health care in exchange for freedom?

While for most of us, prison is less than alluring, for an increasing number of Japanese elderly, it simply makes sense. According to a new study by research provider Custom Products, the number of crimes committed by people over 60 is soaring, with 35% of arrests for shop-lifting involving the retiree demographic, up from 20% in 2001.


Anonymous said...

"once the product comes out of the womb - well, it just gets in the way of having more fun - plus children are time consuming and cost a lot of money when cared for properly." I'm afraid you're correct John. About 40% or so of children are unintended. I know I was, thankfully my parents never had any other children. I'm sure many parents to unintended children care for them just as well, but it's hard to imagine they feel the same as if they were planned. The Boomer generation was spoiled by their parents, who had a terrible time coming up. I'm sure they thought they were doing the right thing, but they ended up raising the most entitled, lazy, whiny generation the country has ever had. In the Millennial's, I see the end game of the Boomer mindset.

Anonymous said...

I doubt at this point I have to worry about being destitute, even in old age. If I do end up in poverty, unlike many of today's seniors I have no problem putting an end to it. Death is not to be feared, and it's far more honorable than being a burden on others. Of course, what does the modern American know about honor?

Christian Gustafson said...

If you guys are not familiar with the talented Phil Hendrie, you may want to listen to this clip again, this time realizing that he is doing both voices.

I have 22GB of hilarious content of his radio shows from what is arguably the peak of his powers, from 2004 to 2006.

Anonymous said...

Hey CG, I noticed there are quite a few of his shows on youtube. I had not of heard of him before, which is funny considering I'm a big fan of talk radio. The man does seem like a real talent.